4 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore
The first few months of a new romance are often seen through rose-colored glasses. Caught up in that initial infatuation and excitement of a newfound love, we tend to gloss over those little personality quirks that we may find annoying later on.
But there are some things that should never be ignored and can actually be huge red flags to a relationship. If you notice any of these character traits or behaviors in the person you’re dating, don’t dismiss them. They are signs of very real issues that may lead to long-term problems down the road and could be dangerous for both your emotional and physical wellbeing.
1. Your Partner Isolates You
It might seem flattering at first to have your new love interest tell you they want you all to themselves. But when they make constant excuses to keep you from your family or monopolize your time so much that you can’t remember when you last had a night out with friends, you may need to take a hard look at their real motivation.
Isolation is often the first sign of a controlling and potentially abusive relationship, with a desire to separate the person they want to “own” from anyone else who cares about them. They may create scenarios in which they tell you your family doesn’t like them or try to convince you that your friends aren’t good for you to be around, all with the goal of making it more difficult for you to reach out to others if things go bad.
2. Your Partner Has A Temper
We all have moments when we are frustrated or angry, but when your significant other’s anger accelerates quickly over seemingly minor things, it could be more than just a momentary lapse. If they yell, shout or throw things, this is a big indicator that they have minimal control over their emotions and even less control over their temper.
Breaking items, harming themselves or hurting pets in a fit of rage are all warning signs of something serious. And if they are okay with showing you this loss of control at an early point in the relationship, think about how this could escalate as that first blush of infatuation fades and they get more comfortable.
3. Your Partner Checks Up On You Constantly
If your partner is calling or texting you all the time and gets upset when you don’t or can’t respond right away, they could have a level of insecurity that makes a normal relationship difficult. Showing up at your place of work uninvited, stopping in “to say hi” when you are attending events that don’t include them or getting distraught when you aren’t always available to them signifies an inability to trust others.
They may act suspicious of your motives, even accusing you of infidelity despite your giving them no reason to think this. It’s important to remember that their reactions to what are usually considered normal and healthy boundaries has very little to do with you and everything to do with their own issues.
4. Your Partner Belittles Or Berates You
A person who ridicules, criticizes, mocks or puts down the one they claim to love is a person who can only feel good about themselves by making someone else feel bad. No matter how sorry they may claim to be after the fact, this kind of behavior is never okay.
Constant belittlement, derogatory comments or name-calling is emotional abuse. Unfortunately, many people fall into the habit of accepting this kind of treatment, not realizing how damaging it is to their own psychological health.
It’s easy to blame oneself, because the abuser makes it sound like things would be great if only their partner didn’t make them angry. If your partner is behaving in a way that leaves you feeling depressed, sad or worthless, this is neither normal nor healthy. Seek help from someone you trust and ask yourself if this is really the kind of relationship you want in your life.