7 Ways To Save Your Relationship

Many relationships hit a point of apathy: you hit a level of comfort, security and routine that it becomes tempting to take the amazing person you have for granted. You buy fewer flowers, you take each other out to dinner less, you pine for lives that could have been.

But a lull doesn’t mean a death sentence for your relationship, especially if you follow these seven steps to being a better partner.

1. Work At Your Relationship

“Relationships are work.” Ah, who doesn’t love a cliched adage? This one in particular rings true: like all good things in life, relationships take work. That means putting in hours and putting your metaphorical back into it. So don’t treat your significant other like an afterthought or a part-time job — the love of your life deserves full-time treatment.

2. Take Part In Their Interests

Now, no one is asking you to torture yourself, but there’s a lot to be said for taking part in your partner’s hobbies that you’ve previously shunned. Shared hobbies are where things are easy. That shows compatibility, but it doesn’t show sacrifice. So, go to the mineral rock display at your local museum, see that stuffy-looking French film, hang out with your partner’s friends that you usually avoid. It’ll mean the world to your significant other – they’ll notice and appreciate your efforts.

3. Spend Time Apart

This may seem a bit counterintuitive, but often the death of a good relationship is the loss of the individual. You grow separate from your friends, you do every single thing together, you become co-dependent. And in the space where two individuals die and a couple is born resentment often festers. So it’s important to maintain the you that existed before the relationship. Plus, it’s always good to miss someone and to be missed.

4. Shut Up And Listen

Yes, we just told you to shut up. And we mean it. We all have problems, we all have sore souls, we all want to be heard. But it’s your job as a partner to listen more than you speak. And, in a dream world, your partner will also listen as much as you’re willing, and harmony will breed. But that’s beyond your control — what you can do is listen with empathy, adoration and humor.

5. Let Your “What If” Narratives Go

We all like to view ourselves as male or female Casanovas. If only you were single, you could really be out there living it up. Or you could be back with that ex that you’ll always be halfway in love with, or you could be traveling the world and going hog wild. Whatever it is, let it go. Unless you want out of the relationship, which is fine; you just need to actually act on it, anything other than the life you’re leading is dead time. So ditch it. And be here instead.

6. Invest In Your Partner’s Family

Be it blood, be it extended family, be it college friends or childhood best buds, invest deeply in whatever family your significant other values. They may not make sense to you – they may even actively annoy you – but their family was there before you – and if you’re not careful they’ll be there long after you.

7. Make Yourself Happy

Nothing is more lovable than a happy partner, right? So do the hard work that your significant other can’t do for you. Take night classes, build a better career, exercise and practice self-care. Do it for you but also do it for your significant other. It’ll make everyone’s lives better.