5 Ways To Keep Your Long-term Relationship Fresh


Some call it the seven-year itch, others a midlife crisis, but we’re going to keep it simple, sweet, and honest: You are years into your long-term relationship and you’re both bored. The hard work that every great relationship demands seems impossible and daunting, the obsessive excitement is gone completely, and, if we may be frank for a moment, you don’t have sex nearly as much as you used to, or as much as you’d like.

There is some solace in knowing that every couple goes through phases like this, but solidarity only gets you so far. So enough is enough. The time for complaining and resentment is over. It’s time to reclaim what made your relationship so great in the first place.

We’ve compiled 5 tips to get the passion and love back to your relationship. You both deserve it.

1) Scheduling

Surprise dates are often favored suggestions on lists like these. Spontaneity has that edge, reminding couples of the early, lovesick days of the relationship. You’re both new to each other, so everything feels impetuous.

Of course, intimacy comes from regularity. You get to know someone’s quirks and oddities, the way their breath sounds when they’re sleepy, the way they laugh when they know they shouldn’t be laughing, and so on.

The trick, like so many things in life, is balance. The 9 to 5 work schedule makes spontaneity a daunting task. People are tired after working 1/3 of the day, which means a surprise concert seems loud and draining instead of new and exciting.

Our advice actually goes the other way: make a schedule, and stick to it. Make Monday night movie night, and go see a movie even if you don’t feel like it. It sounds counterintuitive, but building a ritual with someone creates an intimacy that is unique to you and your partner.

This goes for sex, too, even though scheduling sex sounds anything but sexy. At first, sex without inherently being ‘in the mood’ might be somewhat awkward, but if you stick to the schedule you’ll find yourself more excited about Thursday nights than you’ve ever been before.