The Case Of The Case

What can fly, help you defend yourself in a bar fight, show you the stars or microscopic life up close, open a beer bottle, pour you a drink from its storage area, or be 100% compostable? Whatever that is, I think I want one. Well I may have to get a few, as these are some of the amazing abilities of today’s smartphone cases.

Since the beginning of time, or a little over 10 years ago when smartphones became the rage, smartphone owners protected these devices with bits of plastic that seemed to do little to protect the phone and somehow always cost $29.99.

Back then, the smartphone was the item of innovation with thousands of ways to do things you could never do before. You could take a selfie and search the Internet and phone someone while searching the Internet and taking a selfie, or use your coin flip app to decide who to phone while taking a selfie, while searching the Internet and playing your Cowbell app. The possibilities were endless.

But now there’s a whole new world of uses for your phone and one of them is to put it in the coolest smartphone case you can find. These cases protect your smartphone and they also do stuff.

Sure you could be, “That Guy!” who has the solid gold smartphone case with a $14.5 million dollar, 26 carat black diamond home button, but wouldn’t you rather have one that can fly?

Selfly, on Kickstarter, is a smartphone drone case that allows you to use your smartphone for aerial photography and so much more. You can take a video of your family gathering where your aunts really do look like ants, or just check out what your bald spot looks like to people taller than you. You never know what you’ll see on the fly. That video of your neighbor sunbathing nude in the backyard was a total accident and should never have been uploaded to YouTube. Selfly will also follow you, so it’s not for people who are forgetful and paranoid. The sky’s the limit with the Selfly smart flying phone case.

Photography with your smartphone has made other major advances with your new Magnify, the world’s first iPhone Universal Photoadapter Case. It adapts to a telescope to stargaze with binoculars to help you film who’s scratching what at the ballgame, or a microscope to see just what that green stuff in your refrigerator looks like up close. Pretty cool.

Nexpaq is the new horizon for smartphone cases. Nexpak is the first truly modular smartphone case that upgrades your phone’s capabilities without upgrading your phone. With slide-in modular elements you could add features that include a laser, USB flash drive, amplified speaker, SD card reader, a 32GB backup for your phone, extra battery power and even a breathalyzer. Even more new modules are on the way. And when you do get a new phone, your modules are designed to fit into your new case and work with your new phone.

Now back to your family gathering where someone has lost the beer bottle opener. You’ll be the hero of the day with your smartphone case and bottle opener from Opena. No one goes thirsty while you’re carrying your phone case with a slide-out bottle opener. Bottoms up!

And if you’re trapped in one of those dry events with no open bar, like work-or church-or your best friend’s one-year-old’s birthday party, you’ll always be prepared with your new Phlask case. It protects you from yourself during those times in life where you having a drink could save lives. Phlask is the world’s first smartphone integrated flask. It holds 4.8 ounces of vodka, or your favorite drink-which should be vodka. This case holds more than three shots, protects your phone and fits into your pocket. What more could you ask for?

Just in case things get out of hand at that family gathering you’re always prepared with
the Aluminum Knuckle Ring Bumper Case. It looks like a set of brass knuckles and fits around your smartphone. It will protect your phone and your knuckles when things get a little too off the hook. And it’s made of aluminum, not brass, so it might even be legal where you live. I’ve carried mine throughout the U.S. including airports, but I was told not to bring it back to Canada or it may be confiscated. But what if a hockey game broke out. Where would I be then?

Finally, for nature lovers concerned with the planet there’s the Eco phone case made of lightweight sustainable materials that you can add to your compost heap when you’re over that phase of your life.

Stop buying great smartphones and putting them in boring cases. There’s no telling what they’ll come up with next, but I’m hoping for one that makes sushi, and I’m buying that one that will keep me from getting arrested for drunk driving. Cheers!