Does Breaking Up Make You Gain Weight? The Truth Revealed

What’s the worst part of breaking up with someone? You might be tempted to say the loneliness…when you’ve been living with someone for a long time, there’s nothing quite as weird as the sudden silence of your home. For some, the worst part of a breakup is the sadness that comes from constantly second-guessing everything you said or did that might have ended the relationship. For the rest of us, the worst part of the breakup is packing on extra pounds afterward!

It’s a popular cultural stereotype that men and especially women are likely to gain weight after they break up. Because of this, many consider those extra pounds an inevitability, like the so-called “freshman 15” for students beginning their college journey. But is there any truth to the idea that break-ups make you gain weight? Keep reading to learn some surprising answers!

The stereotype of gaining weight after breaking up

Even if it hasn’t happened to you, you’re probably familiar with the stereotype of someone going through a nasty breakup that causes them to gain weight. It might have happened to a friend of yours, or maybe your older sister. Alternatively, you might have seen this stereotype perpetuated by the sitcoms of the early aughts. Showrunners loved to throw such a plot into everyone’s favorite series because it gives the characters emotional depth. As an added bonus, such plots could also explain why characters have put on weight when the actor is pregnant.

Eventually, this stereotype became a fixture in most people’s minds. Women learned to fret about breaking up because they worried that those extra pounds would keep them from wearing their favorite clothes. And both men and women worried that post-breakup weight gain would make it harder for them to find another partner.

If you’ve ever worried about that, we’ve got some good news. As it turns out, the idea that break-ups lead to weight gain is a complete myth! 

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Post-breakup weight gain is actually a myth

If you’ve ever scowled at the scale after a nasty breakup, you’re probably calling us a liar right now. Who the heck are we to claim that cutting things off with your boyfriend or girlfriend won’t make you gain weight? Fortunately, you don’t have to simply take our word for it when you can listen to some of the smartest people around! According to a 2019 study published by Penn State, most people don’t actually gain any weight from breaking up!

Specifically, the study found that just over 65 percent of its participants gained no weight after breaking up with somebody. That number is significant because it shows that the vast majority of people are unlikely to put on any unwanted pounds after getting dumped or dumping their partner. Still, the remaining 35 percent indicates that some people do gain weight, likely from stress-based overeating. While that’s something to be wary of (more on this soon), the good news is that the dreaded weight gain is not (as the myths would tell you) inevitable.

Where does the myth of emotional eating come from?

It’s all well and good that science has disproven the myth that breaking up makes you gain weight. But that leaves us with a fairly compelling question: where did this myth come from in the first place? According to those same researchers, the stereotype may go back to a real phenomenon that occurred thousands of years ago. When humans had to worry about hunting and gathering food, losing a mate was a big deal because you lost half your ability to find something to snack on. Therefore, it’s possible that many of these early humans would have been tempted to hoard plenty of food out of fear that they soon would not have enough to eat.

If the stereotype used to be true, though, then why is it now simply a myth? Simple: food is now relatively abundant. We don’t have to hunt and gather food as our ancestors did; we can buy it from the grocery store at any time and easily freeze extra food for later meals. Plus, for better or for worse, we can now have almost any food we want delivered to our door at the press of a button. When there’s no need to worry about hoarding food after a breakup, then breakups don’t lead to weight gain. 

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What if you recently broke up and have been gaining weight?

Time to address the elephant in the room: what if you broke up recently and you did gain weight? Heck, what if you’re still gaining weight? Don’t shoot the messenger, but in almost every single case, the person gaining weight has a history of emotional eating. That means the person is likely to “eat their feelings” when they experience stress. Breakups are really stressful, so they almost always cause emotional eaters to gain weight.

Does that mean weight gain really is inevitable for emotional eaters? Not necessarily. It just means that you need to deal with the underlying stress that causes the emotional eating. That may be accomplished through self-help books, guided therapy, and emotional support from your friends. You can also rig the game in your favor by keeping junk food out of your house. Finally, consider exercising more: doing so will free endorphins within your body that naturally make you feel better. Plus, once you hit your goal weight, you’ll feel better than you ever thought possible!