How To Impress A Woman Just By Talking

Start the conversation

Before you can impress a woman with your gift of gab, you need to start talking to her. And make no mistake: the conversation starter is of utmost importance!

If you’re sending messages online through a dating service, you should take the time to craft a funny line. Try to make sure it’s original, though: she’s seen a ton of openers before!

In real life, it’s good to start a conversation with something of mutual interest. This might mean commenting on her t-shirt, asking her what she thinks of the coffee, or even asking about the music playing in a venue.

The opener is how you get your foot in the door. Once you start talking, ditch any “scripts” in your head and let the conversation flow around what she wants to talk about. This lets you learn more about her and encourages her to keep talking!

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All about listening

Here’s some irony: the art of talking to a woman is about listening just as much as it’s about talking. And if you learn how to talk less and listen more, you’ll already set yourself apart from the other countless people that have tried to impress this woman.

How can you listen better? Simple: don’t talk over her and genuinely pay attention to what she says (this means that you aren’t just waiting for your “turn” to talk). And use some of what she says to keep the conversation going. For example, if she says she’s a nurse, you could ask if the pandemic has made things crazier for her. Or just honestly say you don’t know much about nursing and would love to know more.

Once you start truly listening, you’ll finally be able to talk to women rather than at women.

Stop trying so hard

Sometimes, guys get caught in a feedback loop when trying to impress women. They try, and then they fail, so then they try harder. Paradoxically, though, trying too hard during conversations is part of what drives women away!

For example, many guys will accidentally dominate the conversation with a woman. Usually, this is because they are breathlessly telling her everything about themselves in a desperate attempt to impress her.

However, she’s less likely to remember that as impressive. And she’s far more likely to remember that the man was rude, hardly let her speak, and only wanted to talk about himself. Once you stop trying so hard to impress a woman, you’ll find impressing one to be much easier!

Avoid dirty talk and crude language

Sometimes, the art of impressing women by talking means knowing what not to say. And at the top of the list: you should really avoid dirty talk and crude language.

Now, don’t get us wrong: once you start seriously dating and know each other very well, there will be a time and place for this. Everyone knows at least one potty-mouthed couple that is crazy for each other. But when you first meet a woman, or you’re very early in a relationship, this kind of talk can actually drive her away.

Bad language, including using the F-word even in an online message, is an instant turnoff. And dirty sexual talk is likely to make the woman feel like little more than a sexual object. Put simply, you can’t impress her if she thinks you’re actively objectifying her!

Avoid controversial topics

Growing up, you may have heard the wisdom that it’s impolite to talk about money, politics, or religion in mixed company. It’s not that these aren’t important topics, of course. But when you don’t know where someone else stands on certain issues, you could accidentally turn a simple conversation into a minefield.

And that advice works well when you are talking to a woman and especially when you are on a first date. For example, let’s say that you’re meeting a woman for coffee. Coffee dates are meant to be simple affairs where you learn a little more about each other and whether you’d both want to go on a second date.

But if you jump right into talking about politics or religion, you’re bringing too much heavy discussion into what is meant to be a light conversation. Even if she agrees with you on these issues, she may not want to keep dating someone who can’t keep those topics in his pocket for a single conversation!

Back off when needed

The phrase “body language” is very important when you’re trying to impress a woman. Because if you can’t accurately read her body language, then your silver tongue won’t mean a damned thing.

Why is body language so important? You need to understand if certain topics are making her uncomfortable. This is your visual cue to back off, change the topic, and let her take the lead in the conversation.

Once you learn that the art of talking to women is as much about what you don’t say as what you do, you’ll be a better conversationalist than ever before.

Be yourself (no, really)

Before you throw something at the screen, we get it: people have told you to “be yourself” around women your whole life. And if you’re reading this, chances are that just “being yourself” hasn’t been enough.

But what the “be yourself” advice really means is that you shouldn’t try to become a completely different person just to impress a woman. If you’re not a naturally funny dude, don’t try to force yourself to become a comedian. And if you’re naturally kind of shy, don’t try to make her think you’re some kind of badass rebel.

Instead, try to talk to her the same way that you would talk to a friend, classmate, or colleague. Our tips above can help you start the conversation and keep it going, but they don’t require you to pretend to be someone else.

If nothing else, you’ll be grateful for the “be yourself” advice once the relationship takes off. After all, who wants to pretend to be someone else for months, years, or even a lifetime?