The Most Shocking Reasons Why People Break Up

Extreme jealousy

Extreme jealousy has spelled the end of so many relationships throughout history. The signs that you have a jealous spouse are usually quite obvious. For example, they may constantly demand to know where you have been and who you have been hanging out with. And it’s not uncommon at all for them to request access to your messaging apps or even insist on location apps so they can know your location at all times.

Even if a partner isn’t overtly controlling like this, jealousy may lead them to break up with you. If someone thinks you are paying too much attention to a friend or coworker (especially a “work wife” or “work husband”), they may bail because they feel like you aren’t that serious or otherwise aren’t paying them enough attention.

Arguments over money

Unrecognizable sad woman and man in silhouette. Relationship problems concept.

There are few things that can drive a couple apart like money problems. Things like one partner losing a job can cause major financial stress, and this can lead to ugly arguments about which partners are or are not financially pulling their weight. Even if that specific argument doesn’t happen, couples who are tight on cash may suddenly start monitoring every expenditure and criticizing each other for every seeming “luxury” purchase.

Money issues are insidious and can drive apart even married couples. When one partner thinks the other is spending too much on frivolous things, it may lead the offending partner to hide money for themselves. If that is discovered, it can make the existing problems worse and lead to a nasty breakup.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder (of others)

Don’t hold it against us, but we’re about to rip the Band-Aid off about long-distance relationships. Simply put, most of them don’t work out for a variety of possible reasons. The most obvious is that the distance between couples keeps them from regularly engaging in activities (which range from sex to simply kissing each other goodnight after a date) that help foster emotional intimacy.

Those problems may be compounded if one partner feels the other isn’t putting in enough effort. For example, not calling or texting regularly enough or not scheduling enough in-person visits. This usually leads to someone falling in love with a partner who is much closer and can provide the physical and emotional intimacy they are looking for.

Lack of emotional intimacy

Displeased couple arguing about problems in their relationship during morning time in a bed. Copy space.

Bad communication skills are such an obvious reason for breaking up that we didn’t include it in this list. However, an inability to properly communicate often leads to another major problem: an inability to properly express and nurture emotional intimacy. This kind of intimacy refers to the emotional bond that ties couples together long after the raw passion of the “honeymoon phase” wears off.

You create and maintain emotional intimacy through shared experiences which can range from having a regular date night to going on exotic vacations. When couples stop sharing experiences and otherwise stop trying to keep the spark alive, they become more like roommates than lovers. When that happens, a bad breakup is inevitable.

Sexually incompatible

Plenty of couples have anxiety around sex because they are worried about what is “normal.” For example, a man may worry if he has a small penis, and a woman may worry that her high sex drive makes her strange or weird. In reality, there is no “normal”…instead, there’s just what works (and what doesn’t) for you. And the biggest key to keeping a relationship going is ensuring that both of you are sexually compatible with one another.

For example, someone with a low sex drive and someone with a high sex drive may end up frustrating each other if they can’t reach a compromise. Similarly, someone with some kinkier desires (like an interest in BDSM) may have trouble staying with someone who prefers mostly vanilla sex. In some cases, major life changes can drive otherwise compatible people apart, like the birth of a new baby leading to months without sex.

The idea of breaking up over something like sex may seem petty, but keep in mind that having sex releases the oxytocin that keeps you happy and that sexual satisfaction is the best way to build emotional intimacy. If things are dead or dying in the bedroom, it leaves couples feeling unhappy and ignored, and a breakup is never far behind.